Friday, June 12, 2009

Survival Tip #58:



Drinking your own urine can sometimes become an essential means of survival. Make sure your urine is free of toxins and impurities by drinking purified, filtered water, preferably having been processed through a reverse osmosis filter and exposed to ultraviolet light to kill of bacteria. Better still, drink imported bottled water.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Survival Tip #38:

At times it is necessary to eat grubs and insects for survival. They may be the only thing to prevent death from starvation. You can overcome their unappetizing nature by preparing them with some shallots, fresh herbs, garlic and a splash of cold-pressed, virgin olive oil. Sprinkle them over some delicately cooked pasta and enjoy with a medium-bodied Shiraz.

Survival Tip #12:

When crossing the barren deserts of the Sahel, remember to bring a copious supply of water, it will be your lifeline to survival. Barring water, you may choose to drink any variation of thirst quenchers such as soda water, iced tea, lemonade, sasparilla, a gin and tonic, a Bombay Sapphire martini or whatever else the dining car offers.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Survival Tip #47:

When attempting to conquer Everest, make sure to dress appropriately for the freezing temperatures you will encounter as you near the summit. A sturdy woolen coat, scarf, hat and proper leggings ought to suffice.

Survival Tip #48:


Climbing Everest in the Summer months is a dangerous affair. This is due to over-crowding and a multitude of climbers, many suffering from pulmonary edema or frostbite. To avoid this, consider climbing Everest in the Fall or better even the Winter when it is less crowded and rates are cheaper.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Survival Tip #73

The Inland Taipan is the most venomous snake in the world, yet most people don't know what they look like. Always travel with a glass-encased, museum quality, mounted replica of a Taipan, preferably in attack pose. To do this, you must first capture a live, wild Taipan and mount it. Once armed with your newly mounted replica, you will have the advantage if you encounter another Taipan on your journeys through the Northern Territory of Australia.

Survival Tip #50

Bears are the most fearsome creatures on the planet (apart from wolverines and ocelots). Yet everyone knows Bears love honey. To avoid attracting bears, use sugar instead of honey during afternoon tea time.